chicken cordon bleu

from all of my french expertise (ahem...high school french, nearly four years removed...) i know that cordon bleu means "blue ribbon." so i can't help but wonder...who would win in a chicken cordon bleu contest? because everybody's is called "blue ribbon chicken." i just can't fathom the situation. sheesh. i should think about more productive things. anyway, on to the chicken cordon bleu. it's simple, easy, and way delicious. and will make you feel really fancy.

and off! we! go! (think mary poppins here)

this is one of those things that can be made with so much variation, it's not even funny. well maybe it is. not sure. for example, the filling could be ham, turkey, prosciutto (i had to look up how to spell that), etc. and the cheese could be provolone, mozzarella, anything that's really melty. we happened to have turkey and mozzarella when we made this. and the cheese can also be pre sliced. in fact it's easier if it is. we just love to do things more difficult than they need to be apparently. actually the truth is, we used the mozzarella to make pioneer woman's stuffed mushrooms. and also chicken cordon bleu.

so here's the lineup. chicken, turkey, mozzarella, bread (for bread crumbs), and granny's lovely ranch seasoning (seriously, ask your grandma to make you a case of homemade seasonings for christmas. you'll be so happy)

also i forgot eggs in the picture, because i'm not great at planning things more than 2 seconds ahead of time.

toast the bread just enough to dry out. and keep your three day late rent check in front of the microwave just so you won't forget it anymore. (we are weird)

use the ninja to blend it to crumbles, and also stare sadly at the lone egg. i also added some tortilla chips to this mixture, just because i was feeling a little crazy, so that's why they aren't in the beginning picture.

set up your dredging station with a beaten egg, and your bread crumb mixture, with a little of granny's ranch seasoning mixed in. 

the way we do it, because we don't have meat pounder thing, is just use a rolling pin. it's pretty crazy. and loud. welcome to my life. so just put them in a gallon bag and just pound away until they are thin enough to layer and roll. and also apologize to the tenant under you. maybe 1/2"? i can't keep track of all of these things. just make sure it looks right. whatever that means.

for what it's worth, here are our's.

cover your pan in foil, cause the cheese will melt and stick all over it. just a kind warning. 

now for the fun (messy) part. layer a slice of turkey, and some cheese on top of the pounded chicken. 

roll 'em up, and put a toothpick in them. full disclosure: this is not neat nor graceful. elbows were flying everywhere. it was traumatic. just make sure everything is snug and secure. throw a little salt and pepper on them. this could also be added to the breadcrumbs, but again with us being difficult. 

coat them in the egg, then the bread crumbs.

then throw (or gently place) them on the pan. nonstick spray wouldn't hurt anything i suppose. 

bake at 400 for 25-30 minutes. just for heavens sake make sure the chicken is done. 

then enjoy this, and eat the cheesy, juicy, crunchy loveliness until it's gone. 

we ate it with balsamic veggies, which i will post soon. 

roe's "ultrabite" as he calls it. i can tell you with honesty that each meal, he seriously considers everything on his plate and saves the best of each item for last. his logic goes like this: why eat the best stuff first then be indifferent towards your last bites? save the best for last, and enjoy ultrabite. he's my favorite. 

also here's phoenix, our cat. this has nothing to do with cordon bleu, but though our bed is unmade and scattered with clothes and shoes from my internship clothes shopping extravaganza, he lays there adorably. the end.